Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The waters aren't always calm....

Wowie zowie… Stormy waters.... where is that North Star!

I got hit hard yesterday afternoon. I did, and still do, feel good about setting my intentions in the early morning with April. I felt very satisfied in all I accomplished yesterday morning. Personal/spiritual writing, blogging my journey, getting clear about writing both a novel and my e-book. So satisfied with myself for setting the practice of early rising and writing.

Then I took that well organized energy into the shop (my antique shop collective) to work my scheduled day. Felt so good most of the day, accomplishing, staging my space, dealing with dealer stuff. Then, out of the blue I was blindsided by a dealer I hold very close in my heart and esteem. Really, mean-spirited, blind sided. Okay, he said that I ‘saw a sucker and took advantage of him’. In actuality, I found that he hadn’t been working all the days he contracted for and had dealer space for. My inquiry was only about what happened to the missing day. I didn’t ask him to work it. Not yet. Just trying to figure out what happened to the day.

I think he got caught ‘with his hand in the cookie jar’, perhaps he hoped I would never notice that he wasn’t honoring our agreement or his contract. Perhaps that is why he lashed out at me. Totally caught me off guard (that’s what blindside means, I guess), I asked him twice if he really meant that. Twice he said yes.

So, my trusting inner child got really hurt. And, even though I am a ‘spiritually based’ person, or so I like to believe I am, I collapsed emotionally. Plugged pulled. Incredulous. Hurt. I write this man’s name in my prayer journal every night, have for two years since his health challenge. Still did last night. Wrote his name, said a prayer for him.

But, it’s really not about me. He’s in his own boat sailing about, making actions and rules for his own life. It’s not my job to teach, train, or certainly to ‘straighten’ him out. His uncalled for dagger hit it’s mark, but wasn’t really about me. Perhaps it is about the nightmare of the Middle East, or the debacle of this election, or the horrific storms in the East, or even his PTSD from Viet Nam. This man is a loving, generous, kind, volunteer in his church. I have always held him in highest esteem. The lashing out just wasn’t like him. What ever motivated his outburst, really had nothing to do with me.

I just got in the way…. But, ah ha! There really is a gift in there for me. The gift is about strengthening my core. Allowing myself to be soft, sweet, vulnerable, AND be strong, steady, solid. To realize that there is nothing to forgive. If a child says “You’re mean. I hate you mommy” you don’t have to ‘forgive’ him. You realize that there is something deeper upsetting the child.

I know there are deeper lessons in this incident. Really, a GIFT for me and my growth.
The BEST NEWS is that nothing that occurred related to his outburst or my emotional reaction, NOTHING pulled me off my course. My eyes are fixed on my NORTH STAR, and I am proceeding with my first baby steps in accomplishing some great writing this month, this year.
I know the lessons will continue to unfold and become evident. My prayer is that my interaction with this man will be graced with my highest, spiritual love.
Thank you God, for yet another lesson.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

In the beginning.... Finding Your North Star

Isn't that interesting. You are probably wondering what on earth is meant by your 'North Star'. You are right to be perplexed because the concept holds such potential for your life experience.

 I didn't have a clue how I would start writing this morning. Then these words came to me and I'm thinking how fortunate we are that we are gifted with new beginnings every morning we wake to a new day, a new field of opportunity, a new blank canvas that is ours to paint how ever we want.

Today is the first day my friend April and I have committed to be accountability buddies... to have a brief conversation at 5:30 am, setting our individual intentions for the day, and just in doing that, we are being accountable to ourselves. And this starts the night before. Not engaging in those late night activities that would shorten our sleep time. So for me, it's choosing sleep over scrabble games after 10pm. This is good. Very good.

In prepping myself to write "The Sacred Heart of Leadership" I've been looking over a manual I wrote almost 20 years ago, on the same subject. Leading a full schedule of discussion groups and workshops, I taught a class in leadership that empowered others to also lead groups in a spiritually oriented consciousness.

So, it feels appropriate this morning to write briefly about a process that really helps, and helped, me get clear. My friend Don Havis came up with this almost 30 years ago when we were working in the self esteem movement here in California. Akin to Steven Covey's work, Don offered this format, pattern, habit, process, what ever you want to call it, for getting clear, setting our intentions, our 'North Star'.

VISION: How do you see the most perfect world? What does a 'perfect world' look like in your eyes? What does your immediate 'perfect world' look like?

PURPOSE: Why did God make you. Why are you here? What is your pure reason for being?

MISSION: How are you going to actualize your purpose within your vision? Are you a social worker, artists, volunteer? What are your talents, not just the 'job' you do, but what are the deeply seeded gifts and talents you possess?

GOALS: What are your next steps towards realizing, bringing into actualization, your Mission, Purpose, and Vision?

Each one of these topics could be a book in itself. But, this is a good starting off point for my writing. I am setting my intention to create this time every morning to meditate, study, and write.

Namaste and Sweet Blessings